

But most DCOMs walk like a movie and talk like a movie and yet feel like an uncanny species of sub-movie.

Some of them hold up wonderfully or are at least great examples of Y2K fashion. You’re nostalgic for a time when you were young and thought DCOMs were good, a time when you watched Wizards of Waverly Place at the rate at which you now watch presidential addresses (which is to say daily, unfortunately). I warn you: You’re not nostalgic for Disney Channel Original Movies. To paraphrase Matthew Broderick in Kenneth Lonergan’s Margaret, which is about teens but very much not a Disney Channel Original Movie: Take it from someone who just watched every single Disney Channel Original Movie on Disney+: You think you want to revisit a Disney Channel Original Movie from your youth. Photo-Illustration: Vulture and Disney Channel
